Wednesday, January 16, 2008

How to make a lasting impression

by Nora

First you show up at mom's friend Kathy's house and make your best adorably innocent face. Then, when no one is looking, you slice open your big toe on something sharp (it doesn't matter what that thing is, in fact, chances are the adults will never be able to figure it out). Now here's the important part: don't cry or let on that your toe is bleeding until you have worked your way through every single room, stairway and hallway in the house leaving little bloody toe prints every few inches. If you're fast enough and quiet enough, you can cover a lot of territory in the time it takes your mom to notice that she has a spot of blood on her sock and wonder about the source. By then, you will have made your mark...and your mark...and your mark....

Just for good measure, after you've been properly bandaided and cuddled and set free again, wait until your mom is busy wiping bloody spots off the floor and go fall down the stairs. Make sure you don't hurt yourself, but give your mom's friend a good healthy complex. She'll think her house is a death trap. I'm sure she'll be ready to invite you back again real soon.

4 comments:

Klutzmom said...

That was great! LOL!
The one rule on falling down the stairs is make sure that neither Mom nor Grandma are watching. It's too hard on the heart. Making lots of bumpity thumps is effective enough.

Luisa Perkins said...

Oh, noooooo! I can just picture the little toe prints.

TARA said...

Sounds like quite the adventure!

Inkling said...

My little darling did nearly the same thing the other day, but it was his thumb, on a vent, and he managed to decorate the white carpet of my friends' parents luxurious living room before anyone noticed. I'd think he didn't have nerves, except for all the other times that he has screamed. Found you via EDJ--great discovery!