Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Barbie's strangest Christmas ever

Can you guess which present Nora loved most this year? Was it the sweet, adorable blond-haired baby doll with matching Nora/doll Christmas dresses? Or was it the slightly creepy Jack plush?

Good guess.

At least the doll has since gotten a little play time. According to Nora, her name is “Gear.” A lovely name for a baby doll, I must say. Jack has been a more constant companion and only had to stay home once when we went to church (a bitter, tearful separation for all parties, believe me).

We ended up giving Jack to Nora a day early. On Dec 24th, Ethan wanted to give a gag gift to his cousin Alex along with the iTunes gift certificate we had already purchased. So I took Ethan to the thrift store and he picked out the most hideously dressed, shaggy-haired Barbie he could find. I made Ethan carry her to the checkout stand because it made him squeamish. “What if I see someone I know from school?” he pleaded. “Then I guess the gag’s on you,” I answered. And then I proceeded to take the longest, most scenic, most populated route to the front of the store because it amused me.

When we got home, Nora took one look at the Barbie and fell in love. She heard the name “Barbie” and began begging for her Bah-bie and chasing Ethan around the house: “My Bah-bie...my bah-bie!” And Ethan, my teenage boy, was running for dear life, holding onto this skanky doll — with her medusa hair and silicone implants and sparkly cocktail dress — yelling “No, it’s my Barbie! It’s mine.” The scene was all the more comical because I have never let Nora (nor if I get my way, will I ever let her) own a Barbie. How ironic that my untainted, Barbie-free daughter, gets obsessed with the first one she ever sees. She would not relent. Every time Ethan tried to hide the Barbie, Nora found it again. Eventually, we got Nora calmed down and distracted while Ethan wrapped Alex’s present. A few minutes later, it was time to go to the big family party and we discovered that Nora had found Alex’s present and ripped open the wrapping paper to get to her Bah-bie. This time, there was no distracting her. She refused to relinquish the stupid doll. Finally, we resorted to getting out Jack a day early and letting her unwrap him. Her first reaction was to say, “That’s not Jack! That’s Jack” (pointing to the picture on the video case). But soon she was willing to give the imposter Jack a chance and we slipped Barbie from her other hand and re-wrapped her. Whew!

It helped that at the family party, my brother Thom, who happens to have the entire score to The Nightmare Before Christmas memorized (and I do not exaggerate), held up Jack and sang some songs from the movie. Nora—and the rest of her cousins—were totally transfixed. Jack is now definitely Jack. And Barbie is likely back at the thrift store, confused and more than a little relieved to have escaped the crazed 2-year-old and her wacky brother.

5 comments:

NorahS said...

That was laugh-out-loud-at-work funny! Just glad the boss is out of the office!!! Funny on so many levels.

Pmom@ChocolateandGarlic.com said...

I am relieved to learn that I am not the only one to ban my daughters from Barbies.

I had a tough time earlier this year when my daughter's Activity Days leader stopped by our house unannounced. She explained my daughter had told her that she is not allowed to have a Barbie (not that she'd ever minded). It turns out that this woman is obsessed with Barbies. She begged me to accept a doll on behalf of my daughter. The doll was wearing a hand crocheted dress so that it would fulfill my modesty requirements. It was such an uncomfortable situation. I didn't want my daughter to have the doll, but I didn't want to be rude, unkind, or upsetting to the slightly unbalanced leader, someone who had been very good to my daughter and that my daughter had become very attached to.

I ended up accepting the doll and gratefully my daughter hasn't touched it. I am still unsure of how I should have handled the situation. Should I have accepted the doll more cheerfully since it was a gift? Should I have stuck to my guns and refused it? Ick.

Sandra Tayler said...

I loved this. Thanks for sharing!

mindyluwho said...

The picture of your son running around yelling that the Barbie is his is hilarious!

I, too, have not gotten Barbies for my girls. My oldest felt slightly cheated, but hopefully when she's a mom, she'll understand. My youngest bought herself Polly Pockets when she got some money. Not sure if that's any better, being that they are Barbies on a smaller scale...

My Ice Cream Diary said...

Too funny.

I finally caved on the barbie issue but the rule is if I find one without clothes on it goes in the trash without warning or mercy. And so far it has been ok. But I would have preferred the Jack doll too. =)