lazy shade of winter

Brueghel Winter

So much for my follow-up post on entropy. I’ll write it eventually. Just as soon as I get my thoughts organized. (Ah, the irony).

Today I’d rather whine about how cold I am. We’ve had arctic temperatures for several days in a row and it’s beginning to dawn on me that we could have imported Gabie’s penguins after all since they would have been very comfortable living here.

I must warn you (just in case you were thinking of paying a visit to see the penguins when they arrive) I get grouchy when I’m cold. I also get lethargic, depressed, and full of an icy brand of self-pity. All I really want to do is crank up the thermostat and make a blanket tent over the heat vent. But I can’t do that for many reasons, some of which involve the price of natural gas and some of which involve the fact that I still have to be a parent and it’s hard to parent from the heat vent (not that I haven’t tried). So I put on another pair of socks and I try to cope. I also eat more graham crackers because the signal telling my brain that those graham crackers are not, in fact, making me warmer has bogged down somewhere in the frozen tundra between my ears.

I’ve always assumed that I would be a happier person if I lived in a warmer climate. I would also be kinder, more productive, less forgetful and heaven knows thinner because of the graham cracker issue. However, I have never been able to adequately test this theory since the one summer I lived in Arizona I worked at a waterpark where I spent every day in an office air-conditioned to the comfort level of the White Witch. (My co-worker, good friend and perpetual warm-state dweller Tara will vouch for me on this one). So all that summer I wore sweaters to work while the temperature outside simmered in the triple digits and people delirious with heat stroke threw themselves under moving vehicles to end their suffering. I say, bring on the heat! Bring on the delirium! I would prefer it over this turpitude.

OK, so turpitude is not the word I wanted at all. I was after torpitude, which is rather a different concept all together. I am somewhat cheered however by what I found when I did a Google search for turpitude:

Sponsored Links
Turpitude
Bargain Prices. Smart Deals.
Find Turpitude Now!
BizRate.com

It’s good to know everything is for sale.