Thursday, December 14, 2006

"lame" humor

Thirteen advertising slogans for my new cast.

1. Just in time for your holiday parties. It’s the latest in festive footwear.
2. Slimming! (Your other ankle never looked thinner.)
3. It’s a sympathy magnet!
4. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a smelly foot swaddled in gauze and fiberglass.
5. A great workout – like wearing a 10 pound ankle weight at all times.
6. Handy place to tuck your cash when you head out Christmas shopping.
7. Also serves as a portable foot sauna with convenient toe ventilation.
8. Great conversation piece – you’ll never tire of people teasing you to stop kicking your kids.
9. Comes with free Handicapped Parking permit*
*If you are able to get the proper form from your doctor and then drive (between the hours of 9-4) to the DMV office, park in a non-handicapped spot, hobble into building and stand/lean/balance on one foot in line to get it.
10. A great gift for that klutzy person in your life.
11. Also makes a perfect form-fitting stocking stuffer.
12. All this for only a $25. (Your copay may vary).
13. Available from MedCo™. The company that put the break in your Christmas break.

And because I’m dwelling on lameness and the healing process, my Christmas art for the day is from Murillo, Christ heals the paralytic at Bethesda.


Anonymous said...

Awesome list! So... How did you break your leg? And I promise I won't tell you to quit kicking your kids!!! :)

Happy TT!

Anonymous said...

You are very witty :) !! Thanks for the fun list.

Just out of curiosity, did you choose this cast or did one of your kids :) ?!?

Get better soon. It should only be a couple more weeks now, right?

Chickadee said...

Hehe..that's true, your other ankle never looked slimmer! And have you stashed your cash in your cast? That's actually not a bad idea, as long as the money doesn't fall out...

My 13 are up.

Anonymous said...

That is a good list! Sorry about your broken leg or foot though

meno said...

Oh no, you actually have a cast instead of the nice boot that can be removed at night. You poor thing. But i like the striped effect, it makes your hips look so slender!

ali said...

omigosh! i love your festive cast!

Anonymous said...

You could smuggle red licorice ropes pretty much anywhere, which would be fairly cool. Except for the stepped-on bits.

Those are the parts you "share."

Anonymous said...

Does it come in black?

TARA said...

Does this mean you get to lose the crutches?

Julie said...

Let's see...
I asked the doctor for something "festive" and she said this was her specialty. The kids love it.

It does come in black actually. For Halloween she does black with orange stripes.

RaJ I'll be sending you all the "pre-owned" licorice ropes.

Tara - sadly this is not a walking cast so I still have the #$@*! crutches for at least 2 more weeks. At least I look cute though.

dawn said...

looks like you still have a sense of humor though !
Those stripes are certainly festive.

Happy TT

Heth said...

It's the good thing you didn't go with the red and white stripes or you would have to resist the temptation to lick your foot.

Fun list Julie!

Jane said...

Our Kindergarten teacher is currently in a wheelchair with a similar cast and she paints hers with a seasonal theme. Poor thing fell of a ladder and landed on her foot shattering it. She's lucky not to be paralized. This happened in July and she was out until Oct. Now she teaches with crutches or a wheel chair. Might as well have some fun with it!

By the way I posted my top Christmas books.