Monday, October 02, 2006

I think I'm having a bad hair life

It’s high time I wrote about something truly shallow. After all, what’s the point of having my own blog if I don’t indulge in blather once in a while. So here goes.

I really hate my hair. I have always hated my hair, or should I say, my haircuts. I also hate spending money on my hair, which may explain things. But honestly, it doesn’t seem to matter if I drop $10 to spin the wheel at the you-might-get-a-great-stylist-or-you-might-get-a-barely-graduated-
from-beauty-college-by-the-veneers-of-her-teeth stylist place or if I go to the Eau de la Chosen People Salon where I’m in the capable hands of the guy with 3 earrings who insists he cut Madonna’s hair in the 80s. I will still hate my haircut. Hey, I may like it long enough to dutifully leave a tip on my way out. But then I will actually look in a mirror with my glasses on and curse.

Someday I may figure out why this is and perhaps I will also solve the timeless and weighty quandary of “to wear bangs or not to wear bangs,” but in the meantime, here are a few of the alternate hair styles I am considering.

Medusa certainly had that “natural wave” thing all figured out. Of course, she also had a mildly disturbing habit of turning people into stone, but fortunately she never had to leave a tip.

And winning in the category of People who Resemble their Dogs is the lovely Mrs. William Hallet, painted here by Gainsborough. We do need to give her some slack since she lived during the same period in history when the term pompadour – named after Madame du Pompadour who had a thing for really tall hair – was invented.

Here’s a picture of the pompadour in all its glory.

Apollo’s wavy locks aren’t bad in this sculpture by Bernini, but I’m really coveting Daphne’s hair. To get that look, she only had to be chased by a lust-crazed deity who was so not going to take no for an answer that Daphne had to beg the gods to turn her into a laurel tree which, I’ll admit, may be a high price to pay. Kind of like a bad permanent but it lasts forever.

Tags: hair, art, medusa, bad


Anonymous said...

Does that mean you have never liked any of the haircuts I have given you either?!
Bummer - thanks for lying about it at the time and saying you liked it :)
Speaking of hair - you have to admit The birth of Venus hairdo is the ultimate - it also eliminates the constant trauma of "what should I wear today?"
Your loving sister

scribbit said...

I don't know if she's still there but when I took Humanities 201/202 there was a professor, first name Deborah I think, who was in her first semester teaching and hadn't figured out the finer points on how to give a test. 150 questions, all multiple choice with choices from a-j. The entire class failed. She gave us the answers and let us retake and we all still failed. I still remember how stupid I felt.

Julie said...

My favorite sister! (hopefully the other 3 are in absentia). I forgot always loved your haircuts, promise. I'll be at your house tomorrow with cape and shears. Good point about the Venus do. On second thought, cancel the haircut; I think I'll grow out my locks until I can do the Shel Silverstein bit...

My beard grows to my toes,
I never wears no clothes,
I wraps my hair
Around my bare,
And down the road I goes.

Julie said...

Sounds like Deborah Fisher. She's still around and I know what you mean about her exams. I've seen one and I'm not sure I would pass it. But I have to say she's one of the most brilliant people I know and her lectures are fascinating. I think of her as a female Hugh Nibley.