Here’s the statistical report on our own – much less painful – dental visit.
Total number of teeth cleaned: 124
Number of cavities: 0 (wahoo!)
Number of children who will require extensive orthodontic work in the near future: 2
Anticipated expense of said orthodontic work: G.N.P. of small Central American country
Number of letters in each of the many words I wanted to utter upon hearing this news: 4
Number of different items in the dentist’s giant Box o’ Prizes from which my children all chose extremely noisy whistles: lots
Number of whistles not confiscated by Mom before the night was over: zero
Number of new Sponge Bob Square-Pants toothbrushes allowed to infiltrate our home: 1 (one too many)
Length of time we all enjoyed perfectly clean teeth before defiling them with pizza and rootbeer: 25 minutes.
Tags: dentist, art, Caravaggio, parenting
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6 comments:
The 25 minutes - was any portion of it voluntary, or did it simply take 25 minutes to acquire the contraband?
That was the time it took to get in the car, blow the crummy whistles while driving to the pizza joint and get our order. Just long enough for the flouride buzz to wear off my tongue.
My kids get a token to put in a prize machine. On our last visit they decided the token was more valuable than the cheap prizes so they kept the tokens instead! Their plan is to collect them and cash them in for one really big prize like, I'm assuming by the amount of sugar they eat, a root canal when they're 21.
I don't want this to sound too gushing, but I love reading your posts. Tying your every day activities into art is not only creative but entertaining. I thought I was reasonably up on the various works of Western art I should know but you're always pulling out stuff I've never seen before--though I do know of Caravaggio (but did I spell that right?). Keep it up--and my feeds are working again so whoopee! As for the comments, just keep doing it like you are, seems like you're right in there with the "protocol."
ok, oh hilarious one..i followed you over after reading your comment over at scribbits place..i like a woman who can find humor in jesus tortillas. maybe it's the nitrous? either way, glad i found your spot.
Lara
I'm liking the token idea. Kids are funny about what they deem valuable. I remember when my oldest was 2 and he'd latch onto a smooth rock from the parking lot every single time we went to Target. Those rocks were way cooler to him than anything in the store.
Michelle
Thanks for the compliment -- it means a lot coming from a great writer (yes you!).
Jen
Welcome. I can't promise humor every day, but I'll keep my eyes open for miraculous faces in my oatmeal.
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