Friday, March 30, 2007

Guest blogger

My name is Gabie and this is my blog. It has always been my blog because the funniest parts are about me, but sometimes I let my mom use it. I’m nice that way.

My mom is too busy to write anything. She is grading tests this week. I asked her “Mom, if you hate grading tests, why do you give them?” She laughed and patted my head like a puppy dog which I know means, “You’re cute Gabie but you don’t know what you’re talking about” and went back to grading her tests.

I still think it’s a good question.

I can tell that my mom is a bit stressed out. “Mom,” I said, “Why is your face angry?”
“It’s not angry, honey,” she said, “I’m just concentrating. I’m not mad, I promise.”
If you ask me, she should work on not getting a big ugly crease between her eyebrows when she’s concentrating.

The other way I know she’s busy is that she let me watch WAY more TV than usual yesterday. Did you know, counting both PBS channels, you can see Cyberchase four times in one day?! Cool.

Mom’s also popping chocolate eggs into her mouth like they’re some kind of magic pill. Does that help with the stress thing?

And worst of all, she’s drinking Diet Coke again. She won’t share any sips with me because she says “it’s got caffeine in it which isn’t good for your body.” Does that make ANY sense to you? Adults are so confusing.

Mom got a phone call telling her that my brother McKay’s first soccer game is this week. When she got off the phone, she said, “Everybody pray for snow!” Weird. My mom hates snow.

Since it’s my blog, I’m going to tell you two funny things I said this week. I know they’re funny because my mom laughed really hard when I said them. It’s a good thing she’s got me around because I think she needs to laugh more and concentrate less.

Me: I’m going to invent a new kind of microwave like no one has ever had before. It’s going to use electricity to cook your food.
Mom: Um, kiddo, that’s already what microwaves do.
Me: Well mine’s going to be different. It’s going to have a wire inside it that gets really red hot and that will be how your food gets cooked.
Mom: Sorry Gabie but that’s how our oven works.
Me: Yeah, but I’m going to make mine so it only has ONE temperature. It’s going to be set to 850 degrees ALL THE TIME.
Mom: Okay, that’s new.

(Mom says this next one belongs on a t-shirt.)

“If you really want to know what dinosaur meat tastes like, you could just ask a T-Rex…….but you should probably ask a friendly one.”

Well I gotta go. I’m in the middle of a very important project. It’s a new kind of helicopter. If you want to make one like mine, all you need is a package of index cards, an empty Pringles can and a roll of scotch tape. And I mean the whole roll.


Shalee said...

Gabie, you are so right. Adults are weird and confusing. I wouldn't waste your time trying to figure them out. We're just not worth the effort.

And I think you've earned that whole roll of tape with this most excellent post.

Radioactive Jam said...

Dude. I *so* need more info on that helicopter. And nice work, letting your mom use the blog every now and then. Probably helps the stress crease, with fewer side effects than either chocolate or caffeine.

Heather said...

You are one smart (and side-splitting) cookie, Gabie! How nice of you to help Mom out.

An Ordinary Mom said...

Gabie, I bet some q-tips would work really nicely as rotors on your helicopter. You still like q-tips don't you? Just don't stick them in your ears, they can be evil like that.

Tell your mom to eat some chocolate and drink some Coke for me, too :)!!

Kimberly said...

It's so nice to finally meet you, Gabie! I wish it were in person so I could get your autograph because you are -way- famous around here.

And I second the q-tip idea.

Catherine said...

Hi Gabie - what a fun post! :)

And I must confessing...I was popping chocolate eggs while reading, too...

Dedee said...

Gabie, you asked your mom the same questions that my kids sometimes ask me. I don't make any more sense to them than your mom does to you. Good luck on that though!

On that helicopter, I reccomend popsickle sticks. And if you have to eat a popsicle to get one, all the better for you!

The Daring One said...

Of course you need the whole roll. Good going. Your mom needs to chill out and start sharing the love a little more and the caffeine.

Klutzmom said...

Just had to add this on.
I tended Gabe, Ethan, McKay and Nora Tuesday night while Julie taught her class. Macaroni and cheese was on the menu. I needed to drain the macaroni.
Grandma: Gabie do you know where a colander is?
Gabie: Yah. There's one in my room.
Grandma: No, this is a big bowl with lots of holes in it to drain water off things.
Gabie: Oh, that. It's right in this cupboard. (Getting it out for me.)
Grandma: Good job. You knew right where it was.
Gabie: I live here. People who live in houses know where things are.

eve said...

I'm going to have to share that on ewith my 5 year old!

Moobs said...

Gabe, I had thought that perhaps the answers to your mum's creased brow ere botox and Caffeine free Diet Coke but I think you may be the answer.

Rachelle said...

LOL! This was a great post by a great guest poster.